My Wife:
I'm fertile today. My cervix is soft and squishy.
Me:
Are you fingerbanging yourself right now?
My Wife:
No...Yes...shut up, I'm feeling my cervix.
Me:
Stay away from my french fries.
Later this evening...
Me:
Darling, I think we just created a baby.
My Wife:
I don't know...do you think?
Me:
That might have been the time.
My Wife:
Well, I'm not actually ovulating right now.
Me:
What?
My Wife:
Yeah, haha, not really.
Me:
You fucking tricked me into fucking you from three positions? Seriously? You're telling me that I'm out of fucking breath right now because you tricked me?
